Why The Frick Am I Still Up....????

I'm tired and I'm drunk.  (oh, and I guess I use the word "frick" now)

That is a very tough spot to be in when you're trying to post an update to a blog.  Evan did his first and left the balance to me.  Right now I can hear him snoring away in his room (yes, Evan you snore too, granted it's probably not as pawerful as my labored breathing, but it's there nonetheless).

Where was I?

Oh yeah, much too (I'm tired of saying drunk) ultra buzzed.  So there will be more posts, just not tonight.  But as a preview here is what is upcoming:

1.  Four Roses Distillery.

2.  Meeting the Colonel IN person.

3.  The cottage (not one but TWO 13in TVs!)

4.  Dinner at the Talbot.

5.  Let's take it easy tonight.

6.  Me being offered to do a 5-shot sampler at the bar and then demanding that I be allowed to increase it to SIX shots.  End up doing 9 1/2.

7.  Evan buttering the bartenders up for our return tomorrow night.

here are some pictures, I mean A picture (evan's favorite watertower--all time)

Wild Turkey

After Woodford Reserve, I didn't hold out hope that there would be anything that Wild Turkey could offer me.

We got to the distillery about 20mins before the next tour would take off.  To pass the time we checked out the gift shop.  But, in the back room area you could here one of the tour guides going through the tastings.  I have to admit I was a little excited because it sounded like we would get more than one sample to taste.

If Evan did any justice to the Woodford review then you know it was freakin' asesome.

Side Note: After reading my previous post and based on a conversation during the Trail, Evan and I came to the conclusion that we BOTH use the "f-word" waaaaay too much.  Hence the "freakin' awesome" wording.

So, Wild Turkey...here's the deal.  "apparently" the distillery is under construction so we couldn't ge the FULL tour.  Wait....I don't know why I put apparently in quotes, it's not a conspiracy. 
i think I'm drunk.

Wait.....

yep, drunk.

So the bottom line with Wild Turkey is when they took us into the aging warehouse, you could smell the Angel's Share (ie the evaporated bourbon) hanging in the air.  I'm quite sure that to Evan I looked like a koi gulping at the air b/c the olfactory sensation was so unique I couldn't get enough.  When we walked back outside I said to a fellow tour attendee, "Now we have to beathe this stupid regular air like all the other jerks." 

He said, "yep" but it was in a southern accent.

Below, me and Evan in front of a Wild Turkey.



Evan bought a bottle of Kentucky Spirit at Wild Turkey.  I told him the ONLY way I will take his picture is if he didn't pose all weird looking.  He didn't listen.

Woodford Reserve

I will not lie. I have bathed and dressed in finer places, but AC’s brothers’ Money Pit establishment provided us with shelter and warmth for the evening. I did mention in a comment that Andrew’s snoring was a barrier to a good night’s sleep. But regardless, we were able to hit the road at the time we needed, and get to Woodford Reserve with plenty of time to enjoy Bourbon Flavored Coffee, and Bourbon Balls (they are a dessert ya sick asses).

So this was probably the best tour and explanation of how bourbon is made. It’s the smallest of the Bourbon Trail Bourbon Distilleries. I did find this to be quite educational in learning that Bourbon has a federal law governing how it MUST be created (At least 51% CORN). AC and I started as the only two on the tour with Nancy (our guide), but we were shortly joined by two others from Toledo.

Nancy was a Bourbon enthusiast. She loves the stuff, and when you see people loving the stuff it makes you want to love the stuff even more. So we tour the fermentation area AC got to experience what it must be like to a grain of corn/rye/barley who has just been dominated by a heaping of yeast.

Then we saw how they distill the stuff 3 MF’n TIMES this stuff to create alcohol, which is then moved into barrel storage for 6-10 years.


Then we move to the warehouse where the barrels are stored for this long. The first Pic is of AC looking up at the rows of barrels.



The next pic is AC standing in front of the first barrel filled in 1996(when the distillery was reopened), and then beside the 10th anniversary barrel. Why he decided to look like a dick, is beyond me.



We then move to the bottling area where Nancy became the hard core bitch we knew she was. She unplugs the barrel and pours it into a glass and sniffs it. Her eyes become wild and says, “SO GOOD. I think this is 125 proof so we need to add water to drop it down. But It’s beautiful.” The tour guests were salivating as we watched this. I think you can see why.



OK, we then hang out a bit more and take off for Wild Turkey and Four Roses…..AC has better stuff to say.

Concert= Success!!!

Oh boy.

Okay first off, it is 12:40ish in the am.  That may not seem real late, but it kinda is.  So, from here on out, any spelling, grammatical, or any other mistakes (including and ESPECIALLY cussing) is due to the booze.

Evan is asleep so I will try to type softly.....

 

Well the trip down to cincy was pretty enjoyable.  I packed some mini Marker's Mark bottles for the trip and tried my hardest to wait as long as I could before indulging. 

That lasted about 40 mins.

I had packed 6 mini (2 oz) bottles of the Mark, you know the kind they give on airplanes.  Well my flight was the Ishida 747 and I was ready to start this mini-vacay.  I knew this would be a fun trip just based on the ride down.  We rocked out to a mix of Girl Talk, an XX/Biggie mash up and I even talked Evan into listening to (what I think) is maybe on of the greatest motivational songs of all time--Win In the End

(I don't know why I can't embed this video, but do yourself a HUGE favor and click on the link)

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About 2 mins from the venue we stop for gas.  I wouldn't say I was drunk at this point but....

Verbatim, this is what I wrote in my notebook:
    "Holy Fuck.  I think I'm drunk.  The worst part is it's all on mini bottles of Marker's Mark.  I wonder if I can go this whole trip JUST drinking bourbon?  Evan says no.  And you know it's probably not a good idea to even try,  Evan is washing his windows.  I have to pee.  Bad.  Eight shots of bourbon in under 2 hrs.  Evan says the car smells like shit!"

In hindsight the car did smell like shit.  And you know why?  Because I accidently spilled half of one of those mini bourbon bottles on me.  sucks to suck.

I need to wrap this up, I'm fading.

Okay, I could probably use some flowery language and some metephors and a whole bunch of writers' tricks, but the bottom line is I was border-line harrassing the Frightened Rabbit lead singer (aka Scott Huchison).  I can't remember the EXACT conversation, but I think it had a lot to do with me saying how awesome his songs are.  her's a fairly accurate sample:

Me:  I love your songs.
Scott:  Thanks.
Me:  I'm the one who yelled for you to play "It's Christmas so We'll Stop".
Scott: oh yeah, well I haven't played that in a while.
Me:  You should.  It's fucking awesome.
Scott: oh Thanks.
Me: I'd say it's like your 4th best song.  Hey, I'm sorry, I'm drunk (kinda) on bourbon.
Scott: no problem.
Me: Here ...(I give him my last mini Maker's Mark bottle)..you.....you've earned it.
Scott: oh, thank you.
The rest of the conversation consisted of me telling him to bring the band to columbus to play.

Oh, and Josh Ritter was pretty amazing too.  Evan had one complaint--he smiled too much.  Granted he did smile a lot but not enough for me to be put off by it.  Best song---Girl  In The War:
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All in all, a fantastic concert.  Oh, I think I also bought like $60 of merch but I can't remember what I got...

Here is a picture with me, Evan, and Scott Hutchison and his brother Grant (also in Frightened Rabbitt)

Guess who the drunk one is?

After the show we called up my brother for directions to the nearest Skyline.  We got lost.  We ended up at a Gold Star.  Again, an excerpt from my notebook:

Fuck Me.  In line at Gold Star.  We love chili dogs.  I think I love them more than Evan because I ordered more.  Gave my last bottle of mini-Maker's to Scott Hutchison.  I'm kinda regretting it now.  Evan is regretting it too.  Niether of us know if wer're in OH or KY right now.  I need to pee.  To take my mind off that I think I'll text some people...

If sent you a text---sorry.



Just set my alarm for 6:15am.  Man I hope I get up.  I have hot date with the Woodford Reserve Distillery in 8 hrs.

later.

The Colonel called

I left Andrew to do the planning for all of the trip's logistics. All I had to do was put all expenses on my credit card. But that is neitha heaah no theeaah. I was thinking I may get some rather cheap hotel, that probably had an internet connection so I could at least stay up with some email, etc. while the Big Kat slept off his bourbon dreams. Nope, I get a link to a place called the "Chapeze" house, with a request to book two nights and schedule a dinner/tasting. Here's what I read on the site:

The Bourbon Tasting shrine in Kentucky is Chapeze House, "Kentucky's Home for Bourbon" in Bardstown, Kentucky. Chapeze House, built in 1787, is a beautiful Federalist mansion and one of the great historic places for Bourbon Tasting in Kentucky.

Kentucky Colonel Michael and Margaret Sue Masters, the proprietors of Chapeze House, are famous Kentucky personalities well known for their ultra-premium Bourbon Tastings and exquisite dinners at Chapeze House.

I go ahead and go online and immediately book the place. I then get a call from the Colonel himself. He says, "This is the Colonel, thanks for choosin our place to stay. Can I get you down for a dinna and a tastin? The dinna is real good, and the bourbon tastin...well..he he....well that just fuuuun." I say hell yeah. He says, "What time you comin in?" I say, this is for Thursday right? And he says, "What? not today?......." Then ole Margaret Sue gets on the line and straightens out the reservation. As we are hanging up I hear her say, "He apologized... "


OK. WOAH. I apparently let the reservation page refresh or something so I had the current date in instead of thurs. Apparently that pissed off the Colonel. The question now is, will he hold a grudge??? I mean, I'm not your typical looking Kentuckyian or anything, so I'm a bit nervous.


I think I'm going to need AC to work his charm with the Colonel and warm him up so that he doesn't make it a short dinna and worst, a "not fuuuuuuun tastin."

He probably will also raise a brow when us two Yankees show up requesting their Millstone Cottage....

Two Friends, One Concert, Six Distilleries...

The Backstory
2010 "Brother of the Year" nominee, Matt Cornell, decided to get us concert tickets to Josh Ritter for my birthday.  (song from most recent album and a cool video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxWxiuJRApU&feature=related).  A few weeks later I found out that the opener would be none other than Frightened Rabbit lead singer, Scott Hutchison.  For most (if not all) you're probably saying, "who?" to both the name and the band, but to me I could not have picked a better opener.  (I expect a heavy dose of tunes from the album Midnight Organ Fight, maybe even this one http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkh33pvvG1U)

Last year Evan and I went to the Frightened Rabbit show in the Cleve and it was awesome.  There were talks of going to a show in Pittsburgh in the fall, but like a more drawn out brilliant-drunk-idea-at-the-bar plan, the trip fell through.  So naturally when this Ritter/Hutchison show popped up I thought of it as a second chance and that Evan should drop everything, drive down to Cincy in the middle of a week in February and go to this concert.  When I contacted him in November, his response was, "the ONLY way I would go to this show is if we went on the bourbon trail afterwards."

Bluff called, my friend.

Over December and January, the scope and depth of this trip expanded and contracted: how many nights would we stay, which distilleries should we go to, where are we staying, etc.  And then like so, so many of my plans, after an initial surge of excitement and involvement the whole trip went into hibernation and laid dormant for weeks.  Then my brother accepted a job in Cleveland, and his ticket fell to Evan.  Alright step one--get tickets, check.

Next, the broad strokes of the trip came together.

Wednesday:  Evan picks my up in columbus, and we head to the queen city for what I expect to be my favorite concert of 2011.  Crash at brother's house in cincy.

Thursday:  Drive to KY, tour the following distilleries: Woodford Reserve, Wild Turkey, Four Roses.  Stay at a hotel nearby, soak up the local flavor, drink bourbon.

Friday:  Wake up (NOT hung over, b/c we drank like pros and mixed in plenty of side water drinks during the debauchery from the night before) and tour the following distilleries: Jim Beam, Maker's Mark, Heaven Hill.  Repeat thursday evening, maybe throw a white russian or a gin/soda into the mix just to cleanse the palate.

Saturday:  Wake up (I'd like to say not hung over, but after two days/nights of bourbon drinking that might be asking a little much) and head back to cincy.  Possible stop to see Joos's on the way home.

By popular demand we will update this blog to chronicle the trip, oh and by "popular demand" I mean Billy said, "hey you guys should blog about your trip".